You Are My Heartache
by RoraShigoto
Summary: It's hard being in love with your best friend. It's even harder when they love you back. /for Kikyomusdie/


**You Are My Heartache**

_**It's **__**hard being in love with your best friend. It's even harder when they love you back.**_

_**/for Kikyomusdie/**_

* * *

"God, Axel," I said as I held back his blood red hair. He vomited again and I stifled a gag. The room reeked now, after fifteen minutes of Axel puking his guts out. "You're an idiot!"

I saw him nod. He spit into the toilet and sat back up, leaning against the wall. "But I love you."

"And you better be damn glad, too."

Sighing, I took a towel out of the cabinet and drenched it in the sink. I then bent down and dabbed at Axel's flustered face. I wiped his mouth clean and stood back up. Getting the mouthwash off the counter, I forced Axel to rinse his mouh out. He hated it, but I only told him every time he complained that I hated it for him but it was his own fault.

He was hopeless.

Standing, I said goodbye, ignoring any protests he could have muttered, and walked to the living room, falling upon the couch.

It happened quite often now, probably once or twice every week, that Axel came home hammered. It was sad, really. Seeing my best friend drunk and out of any sense he may have pretended to have before. And one thing is for sure, Axel is not one to be able to hold his alcohol.

The front door opened and slammed shut. I heard Mrs. Fujiwara, Axel's mom, walk into the living room. I lifted my head to look up at her. She seemed exhausted again, from working another double-shift. "Again?" she asked me.

"Yeah..."

This was probably the worst part; having his mom seeing him like this. She was seriously one of the sweetest people ever in my book. She was the one who accepted me and took me in after my own mother had 'disowned' me and kicked me out of the house. I've been living with Axel and his mother for eight months now. I slept on the couch in the basement, but it was good enough for me.

Mrs. Fujiwara went swiftly to the bathroom. I could hear her scolding Axel harshly. She told him he should be ashamed of himself and all the other big things that mothers say that are supposed to make your insides quiver. At least, when you're sober.

I shook my head and turned the TV on.

**xXx**

"Damn," Axel said as he held his head in his hands. I clicked my tongue and sat down next to him on his bed. It was a bright morning with sunlight flooding in through his window. And Axel had an apparent terrible hangover.

"Axel," I began, but he put his hand up to tell me to be quiet. I did. I knew better than to run my mouth to someone with his condition. I had it happen to me before. Besides, I could wait until later to say the same thing over and over again, "I told ya so."

He groaned audibly and fell backward. I frowned, watching him again rub his temples. Crawling closer, I gave him a pitiful look. As he lifted his hand and opened an eye, he smiled lightly at me. Or at least tried to. I lyed down then, next to his bodice.

Ah, the peacuful, yet slightly uncomfortable, silence that followed then. How strange. It was only times like this when Axel didn't have anything to say.

Although he just spoke.

I missed it. "What?" I asked, realizing my inner dialogue had toned him out.

"I said I'm sorry," the red head beside me muttered. "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to... you know."

Yeah, I know. He never meant to. That was his problem. "Gah, what are friends for?"

"Well, certainly not for puking on." I laughed at him. At least it wasn't so bad this morning. At least he had a sense of humor.

"Don't worry about it," I said, my tone softening. In my head, I made sure to add on, 'It's not like it hasn't happened before.' But I wouldn't dare say it aloud. I wouldn't dare say something like that to Axel.

"Mom's pretty pissed, eh?"

"You're telling me."

**xXx**

Oh gosh.

He was doing it again.

He was making me smile for no good reason at all. He was making me watch his lips as he read his summer homework-essay to me. He was making me fall in love with him; slowly, but surely.

Damn him.

Olette thinks I couldn't be anymore obvious. She said that I should tell Axel everything. Like one of those soap opera love confession things.

Bullshit.

" 'And so, in conclusion, it is our duty to make sure that the bunnies and rabbits and hares alike do not go extinct.' "

"Wow, Axel," I said, my voice almost monotone. "It's the best paper you've written so far."

It was, sadly, actually pretty much true.

"So, definitely a C, right?!"

"A C+ at least," I laughed.

Oh man, I was so out of it. I hadn't heard about three paragraphs of it. How pathetic.

"You wanna know the best part?!" Axel said, eagerly sitting up. He grinned like mad and I had to look away from him. He was suddenly too close. He was just inches from my face and I couldn't stand it. He sat up on his hands and knees, waiting for me to ask what the best part was.

"What?" I said, trying to make my voice sound less shaky than it felt.

"I did it all while sober," he joked. He fell into a fit of laughter. And with his body movement, and him being so close to the edge of the couch, he almost fell off. As soon as I realized this, I caught his two shoulders to try and steady him. However, his body was much bigger than my own, resulting in both of us falling off the edge and landing on the carpeted floor with a hard thump.

Was this too cliche?

I looked up in horror. Yes, way too cliche. Axel landed on top of me, of course. Because that's how it always is in yaoi and shouen-ai nowadays. Not that I read it. I just... hear too much about it from Kairi and the others.

Shut up.

Axel was then looking down at me, his vibrant green eyes boring into my own. I couldn't do anything. My body had gone limp, paralyzed. It seemed that he was getting closer, too. But I dismissed it as my imagination.

Until I thought I felt his lips brush against my own. But they were gone as soon as they were there.

"Ax...el?"

He was gone. He had left as soon as I has tried to register what happened.

**xXx**

It'd been a week since the incident. By then I was sure it happened. I was convinced that our lips did meet. But I never brought it up. Axel got drunk four days in a row. I was worried about him. His mother had set a curfew, too. And he wasn't allowed to go to Demyx's or Xigbar's or Reno's or anywhere else he could get alcohol from. Even though everyone he did get it from soon realized that it wasn't safe for Axel to have it. They all swore him off it.

No more alcohol for the pretty little red head.

Yeah, like that'll ever hold up.

But it just so happens that on a Thursday afternoon, Axel walked into the door way... intoxicated.

I was sitting at the kitchen island on a stool, working on my summer essay. I could just feel trouble reverberating from the male. He had a smile that could hold up a bridge and his words were so slurred I could barely understand him.

"'eyRoxass!" Axel tumbled over to me first thing, slinging and arm around my shoulders. "Sup? Osh mun... I em so'ired."

What?

"You're... tired?" I asked slowly. He nodded his head and drooped his eyelids slightly. I sighed, standing up and taking hold of the arm around me. I held Axel up and tired to guide him to the bedroom. It was a lot harder that it looked. His heavier status almost made me topple over.

Nonetheless, I did finally make it to his bedroom, where I basically threw him on the bed. He grunted when he landed. Smiling idiotically, he snuggled up to his pillow and close his eyes.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. Turning to walk away, I mumbled, "Good night, Axel."

But his hand went out and grabbed my wrist, locking me in place. I turned to look at him with an unamused expression. He smiled at me childishly. "Ro'as, wol' yoou stuy wit meh?"

"No," I said flatly. He stuck out his lower lip, but it didn't have the same effect because he couldn't hold it for twenty seconds. I scoffed at him and climbed on the bed anyways. Climbing over him was not an easy task. He wouldn't stop giggling and muttering nonsense.

Once I was on the opposite side of the bed, I grabbed a pillow and hastily got comfortable, not bothering to even cover up. My plan was just to stay until he fell asleep, but it was ruined when Axel put a heany arm around my torso and pulled our bodies closer. I fought a blush the rose to my cheeks.

"Mhmnn... Nighty night, Rouxas," Axel mumbled next to my ear.

Against my own will, after ten or so minutes of lying there, I fell in to a deep slumber.

**xXx**

I awoke hazily to see Axel's eyes staring at me. I instantaneously jerked back a little... hitting my head on the headboard. I grunted on impact.

"Oh! Rox! You okay?!" Axel exclaimed. I lifted my head, rubbing the back my head.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told him, looking around. It was dark outside, I saw through his window. He had turned on a lamp, which provided a little bit of light. "What time is it?"

"Around ten or so," he said, shrugging. "You've been out for a while, you know."

"I thought you were fucking drunk as hell," I said, suddenly realizing that his speech had gone back to normal.

"Well, I never said that," Axel trailed off, looking to the wall.

"Bullshit," I replied.

"I had to get you to talk to me some way! I mean, you've pretty much been avoiding me forever now and I can't stand it!"

"I have not been avoiding y-"

"Then why is it that every time I try to say something, all you do is walk off or nod or whip out your cell phone and conveniently answer it?"

Hm. To tell the truth, he was right. I have been trying a little bit to avoid an awkward conversation, I suppose. I bit my lower lip and asked, "What was that about... the other day?"

"What?"

"Don't do that, Axel," I dead-panned. "Don't."

He sighed, moving to a more comfortable position. "I don't know, Rox. It was an... an accident, I guess."

"Oh," I said, a wave of disappointment most likely apparent in my voice. "Okay, then. G-Good. So..."

And then it happened again.

I felt a pressure upon my lips and I was suddenly looking at his eyelids. But he hadn't pulled back yet. Seeing this, I pressed back, feeling him slightly smile.

I smiled, too. This was perfect. Exactly how I wanted it. Exactly how it should be.

But he was gone. I blinked up to his now retreating face. His lips had tinged a light pink. "Oh my gosh! I'm sorry Rox! I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

I shut him up by grabbing at his shirt and pulling him back. I kissed him, waiting for his now stunned form to respond. When he finally did, I carefully darted my tongue out, licking his bottom lip. We both pulled apart.

We resting our foreheads together, I watched his green orbs intently.

"So, what does this mean?"

I kissed him once more for good measure before whispering, "I love you."

Woo! A oneshot finally! I've been working really hard, seriously, guys! I'm so sorry it's taking me so long! Things have been so hetic and crazy! I've got so many assignments due and... arg...!

This is for Kikyomusdie. A request of a fluffy AkuRoku oneshot for a contest-ish thing.

Dear Kikyomusdie, please tell me if you don't like it. Sorry if you don't. But... it was just something that came to mind.

Oh, and to everyone else I owe oneshots to, please be patient. I'm working very hard. I really am. I have the other oneshots planned out and everything. I do. I just haven't finished them.

I've also been working on TPWL a lot. So, I'll update that as soon as I can.

Thanks for understanding and not emailing me complaints. Heh, I know I'm a procrastinator. Bare with me here...!

**Much respect, much love. Goodbye!**


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